Tuesday, October 7, 2008

To Quit....



Dear Family, Friends, Readers, and the World....I have an announcement to make.

I'm going to quit smoking.

Gasp!! Yes, me - quit! I have been smoking now for ten (oh my gosh really?!) years...even though I think I've been saying that for the last two years at least....

This won't be easy, but finally, I think I'm ready. Finally, I actually want to.
I've weakly attempted cold turkey twice before, two years in a row, each only lasting two months. Back then, I didn't really want to, and did it for reasons like - my boyfriend at the time wanted me to - which by the way never works!!
This time, It's for me. I'm single and just turned another year older, and it's high time. The way I look at it is that one day I'm going to quit anyways, so now, doing it for me, my life, and my future, is a better and more honest way than if I were in a position where I had to quit.

Now you non smokers out there might frown at me for what I'm going to say, or not even understand, but maybe the smokers, or ex smokers out there might get a hint of what I'm getting at.....
Ten years is a darn long time. So many memories fill up that time that you could write a book about it....I'm sure we'd all agree on that! Now over the past ten years in my life, I've had a buddy next to me, a friend to help me through the tears, the fights, the ups, the downs, and some seriously stressful moments! Been there for me when I needed a break, been there when I've cried over loss, love and pain, been there when I've been at my most happy and brightest, been there when I've met new people, been there with friends, been there when I've watched the first snow of winter, leaves fall in autumn, flowers bloom in spring, and sun shine in summer.... every single time, for ten whole years.

But it's time to say goodbye. I will miss our moments, my dear friend, but it's time to make some without you....

I know smoking is psychological, and I know my life will have to make some changes to accommodate my non-smoking-ness! And for sure, this will NOT be easy.
So I've been taking some time to think about my patterns of smoking, and so I've come up with a game plan.
First off, I know me. Cold Turkey won't work.
Second, I've already started cutting out those useless cigarettes I have that I don't need (or even sometimes don't want). This has been since my birthday.
Third, as of next week, I'm going to only carry a limited number of cigarettes with me, which will be five cigarettes. This means that I will physically not be allowed to slip up on my allocated amount, therefore, if I smoke them all before 2pm, thats it! Scary thought...so I'll behave! Ha!
Fourth, I will continue this five a day, until I feel comfortable with it, where it becomes normal. This shouldn't take long - I'm almost there!
Fifth, we'll cut out more, drop to three a day perhaps....and so on....
Maybe by the new year I'll be smoke free!

One of the things about my smoking is the sentimental value I have of my brand (especially this one - I was a Marlboro light girl for most of my ten years!). And just like most smokers, we have our likes and dislikes about each brand, I fell in love with Nat Sherman's New York Cut Lights. In Soho there are only two corner stores that sell these - which is another part of my problem - they know me in there, it's like visiting a friend! I never have to ask, they know what I want! Even on my birthday they gave me a lollipop!!!!!!
So the first thing to go is that - I have to detach myself from any extra outside influences and sentimental value. I have exactly 18 cigarettes left in my last NY Cut pack.....
And they are to be replaced with a brand just as additive free, but lower in nicotine (to help me quit!). All ready for step three of the game plan.....

Okay, well, so here goes...... wish me luck......

And by the way, I was never as bad as the guy in the picture above!! Ha!!!

1 comment:

Tricia said...

One day at a time....Good Luck!